so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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