Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Randomize
