if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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