At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This is my gift to your gina
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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