That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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