I wanna bring you to show and tell
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
