i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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