i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
