I'm lost and stupid without you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
