Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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