How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
