K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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