oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize