She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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