Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
