i would punch a child for taco bell
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
