There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm like, not good at living.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
