6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
