oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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