haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
