Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize