If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
