You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize