Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
