I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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