it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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