don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
