He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
