I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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