she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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