i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
