Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize