the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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