jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
