I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
