do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
