you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
