just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
