I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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