Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
