420 ftw
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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