Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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