is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
