...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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