My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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