8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
