I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
