What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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