I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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