Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
