Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
