I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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