I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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