He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
