I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
