just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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