worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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