At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize