I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
