There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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