Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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