all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize