Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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