My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Your dad touched me again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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