My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If i come over, it means nothing
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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