she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
