Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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