i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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